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Not that our time together wasn’t wonderful, but insecurity made me apprehensive. Having lived in a sexless marriage for so long, fears of inadequacy and my naiveté weighed on me. The Christian lifestyle with its distain for sexual pleasure and focus on ‘brotherhood’ had left a crippled concept of intimacy. Could I open my heart and receive what she had to give? Could I give her as much pleasure as she gave me? I called and told Sandi I would be arriving. ‘I’ll meet you at the airport,’ she. He was saved from answering asTanya saw his situation and came to rescue him away. After the award was given, Angelo found himself the center ofattention, particularly from other girls who wanted to know about hisdress and hairdo. Kevin hung around, and was successful in gettingonly one more dance with Angelo. Kevin was an awkward boy, and he danced clumsily, but Angelo feltcomfortable with the boy. Angelo also was happy to be with a shy,somewhat na?ve boy like Kevin. He was afraid a boy. Brock?’ asked Mary. ‘Not at all. I’m all alone here tonight and it’s nice to have the company of two beautiful ladies.’ I smiled at both of them. ‘Please call me Myron, it’s a lot less formal.’ The waiter came over and handed the girls a menu. ‘Ladies, dinner is on me tonight,’ I said. ‘You don’t need to do that Mr. Brock, I mean Myron. We’re capable of paying for our own dinner,’ remarked Mary. ‘Mary, I know that. I would never assume otherwise. I didn’t mean to be impolite …’ ‘For Pete’s sake. I always hated Christmas and other family holidays, but this Christmas, it was worse. I felt lonely before, but this time there seemed no hope that it would get better. I always said to myself that by the time I reached thirty, I would have a family of my own. But here I was thirty years old, the year almost over, and I was still all alone. I could no longer bear my lonely existence. The pain of seeing a happy family, on television, just added to my misery. I slowly removed the sleeping.
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