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"It was the first time anyone had addressed me in writing as "Simone", thefeminised version of my name that I now go by, and I felt somehowviolated. Jane had been the person to take my anal virginity and Serge,who I thought was my friend, had taken advantage of the fact that I wassleeping and stolen my clothes.I lay there for a moment as I wondered what to do. Without any clothes, Ifelt like I was a prisoner in Jane's flat and I contemplated staying inbed for the day. After all, I only had. In the kitchen, I take a seat on the stool and gasp at the cold wood touching my hot and still moist pussy. I watch you intently as you open the refrigerator and start to rummage around, pulling out various items. Not saying anything, you set about preparing what I know will be a fabulous dinner. I have always marveled at how you can create such delicious and amazing meals with next to nothing. You turn to face me as I watch you, my legs crossed, my chin resting on the palm of my hand. You. It was a shit beat.“YOU TALKIN SLL THAT SHIT ABOUT SUCKAZ LICKIN ON YA. ALL DOWN YO BACK UP YO CRACK. YOU TALKIN TO A REAL PLAYA NOW GURL. REAL. I DON’T GO FIRST.” Dick soon realised the alien spoke not only completely in caps, but largely only in Too $hort lyrics. Suddenly it all made sense – Too $hort had to be an alien. Only someone who had observed earth culture from the outside, but never lived it, could have composed songs and rhymes so terrible and yet still thought they had any merit. “You want my prick?” he asked.Kim couldn’t even speak. Instead she just nodded vigorously and pointed again.“And my balls?”“Y ... yes,” she managed to stammer.“Okay,” he replied with a grin. “They’re yours.” Then he grinned and teased, “I didn’t realize you had a speech impediment.”“What!” she squawked.“Well...” he began and paused. “You seem to have a great deal of difficulty with simple Anglo-Saxon words.”“It’s ... It’s—”“There you go again,” he interrupted.“Now you listen to me, Bradley.
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